Family life for Gordon was scarred by his father’s alcoholism and the domestic abuse of his mum. Though quite capable of good results at school, Gordon became distracted by the dysfunction at home and he lost interest in his studies. Worry morphed into anger and resentment which, in turn, morphed into experimenting with illicit substances. Disappointing HSC results were the product of a heavy pot habit and his dreams of a high-paying professional career slipped out of view.
A job in administration lead to some success and disposable income gave rise to experimentation with heroin and eventually addiction. Before long, Gordon’s income was insufficient to fund his habit and he began breaking, entering and stealing to fund the addiction.
Eventually, the law caught up with him and Gordon entered prison for the first of 6 sentences. Now in his late 40s, Gordon is confronted by a habit that is an ever-present burden that dominates his thinking. Though he hates what it has done to him, addiction is an oppressive master from which escape often seems impossible.
But Gordon has another dominant subject that occupies his mind – his teenage son, Jake. Gordon loves his son with all his heart. The memories of Jake’s childhood flood his waking hours and he is often overcome with feelings of guilt and regret. The thought of Jake growing into adulthood without a dad present to guide and encourage him adds a sense of failure to his emotional baggage.
Initially, Gordon wrote to Jake but received no reply. He respected Jake’s choice and decided to write for Christmas and Birthdays only rather than place pressure on him to write. Jake’s mum was hurt by the past and had emphatically refused to allow Jake to visit Gordon in a prison setting. In fact, Jake and his mum had made the choice to live silently with the shame of dad being in prison.
Eventually, the pressure on Gordon got to fever pitch and he exploded with a barrage of love-letters to his ‘beautiful son’ – six or seven letters in 10 days and many pages. He simply had to let Jake know that he loved him and thought of him constantly. Initially, Jake responded with frustration, anger and language that his father had never heard from him before. Gordon accepted this judgement, but continued to write. Out of the blue, Jake’s mum wrote a letter of encouragement to Gordon to keep writing, and just recently, Jake has finally been able to visit his dad in prison – twice.
The emotion is overwhelming for Gordon. Jake has a girlfriend and has moved on from the sporting interests that his dad introduced him to as a small boy. But Jake also has a deep wish to see his dad free from his addictions when he is released next year. The spark of love between them has been rekindled and is a powerful motivator for Gordon to reduce his dependence on methadone in preparation for life beyond addiction.
Gordon has a very real faith and a deep desire to honour God through his journey out of addiction. Join him in praying that the sins of his father will not be passed down again.
Bob Johnston, Prison Fellowship volunteer