It was a Sunday in Winter some nine years ago when Catherine* picked up the phone to a call from her daughter, Maddie*, that would completely change her life.
“Can you come and get the girls?” asked Maddie*, her voice shaking. She had been living a few hours away in a different part of the state with her husband and two children, and Catherine* knew immediately that something was wrong.
But that ‘something’ was beyond anything Catherine* could have imagined.
Within days, Maddie* and her husband had been put in jail.
“At the time, Isabella* was just two years old, and Willow* was a little over three,” says Catherine*. “Maddie* told them, ‘Grandma’s coming to get you’. Thankfully, the girls knew us pretty well, so they were willing to go with us. We went and got them and brought them home… and they’ve been with us ever since.”
Today, Isabella* is 11 and Willow* is 12. Both their parents are still in prison.
In her 60s when she and her husband became the full-time carers to the girls, Catherine* has had to navigate raising toddlers to teenagers in a world that is very different to when she first was a mother. “Just before we got the girls, we were planning to retire. But that could no longer happen,” she shares. She and her husband have also had to overcome significant personal challenges. In the years since Maddie* went to prison, Catherine* has battled breast cancer twice. Then, three years ago, her husband was diagnosed with a muscular disease.
“That was another thing we had to get through,” she says. “He can’t work anymore. He has limited mobility – but he’s pushed himself, and he can now do a few things around the house. He helps by getting the girls to dancing or to school and things like that. And thankfully, I’m in remission at the moment.”
“You just have to take the challenges as they come, until you get through.”
Facing the unique struggles of growing up with a parent in prison, Isabella* and Willow* have had to carry the added pressure of having both of their parents incarcerated.
“The girls have struggled in their own ways,” says Catherine*. “They miss the connection of having their parents be there for them.”
“When they were younger, they’d see other parents pick their children up from school, and they’d think, ‘Where are my parents?’“
“They want to be like everybody else. We are there, of course, but it’s not the same. It’s never the same.”
“A lot of children grow up with their grandparents, but I think it’s knowing that their parents are in prison – and the crimes they committed – that’s the hardest part. It’s always there in the back of their minds, I suppose. You can’t get rid of it. You just have to learn to live with it.”
“I do as much as I can, but I’m still only a grandparent. I can’t replace their parents. And I can’t change what’s happened.”
It is into realities like Catherine’s* that Angel Tree enters. Each Christmas, thousands of children like Isabella* and Willow* unwrap Angel Tree gifts that have been lovingly chosen, donated and delivered on behalf of their parent in prison. A picture of God’s love and grace made possible through the generosity of people like you, Angel Tree offers incarcerated parents and their children a precious moment of connection during one of the most meaningful times of the year for families.
“I think it would have been the first Christmas after getting the girls that Maddie* called me from prison and told me she had signed them up for Angel Tree. Then I received a call from the Angel Tree volunteers at Prison Fellowship, asking if it would be all right for them to come and give some gifts to the children, to bring a little bit of happiness to the girls. I accepted, and it hasn’t stopped since. The girls have received Angel Tree gifts every Christmas we have had them. It has been beautiful.”
“I often think, ‘How can people be so generous to people they don’t even know?’ It’s wonderful. It brings out the humanity in us. You know, you turn on the television, and the only thing you hear is bad news. You never hear about people doing good things. But when I saw that there were people willing to do that, it made me feel like people do care, like there is good in this world. Not only bad things happen. It sort of gives you a bit of hope and a bit of courage.”
“The girls were always so excited to open the door and see that there were people standing there with all these presents. It made them feel special. For them, it was a positive moment between them and their mum, where they could feel like, ‘Oh, mum does love us! She still loves us, and she’s thinking of us!’
“Angel Tree really does connect a mum or a dad with their children when they can’t be with them. Because these weren’t the only presents the girls were given. I used to put presents under the tree and say they were from their mum and dad, but they would say, ‘No! You bought that for us, not Mum and Dad.’ I think this was different because other people were delivering them, presenting them with the gifts and telling them, ‘This is from your mum,’ or ‘This is from dad’. That way they believed it. For us, it was a special blessing.”
“The girls have always been very happy with their gifts. It was never skimpy little stuff or something they didn’t like.”
“They were always beautiful presents. It felt like something the person who donated would have bought their own children.“
“So we were very fortunate – I couldn’t have afforded to buy all that stuff!”
“When they were younger, at first it was toys, things they could play with, or something fun and educational. These days, the gifts are makeup or other ‘tween-age’ stuff, which they love. It has changed as they have gotten older. The people who donate the gifts know the children’s ages, so they buy something appropriate for that age.”
“It has been marvellous to see the generosity of people – it made me feel so happy. And it made a real difference to the girls.”
“It hasn’t been easy knowing that Maddie* is in prison. I never thought that would have happened. It’s not what we wanted for her, and it’s been very hard.”
“The thing is, that person inside prison – that person is still somebody’s child.“
“And they’re still loved, even if they made a mistake. So it has been a big blessing for all of us to see the girls so happy as they receive their gifts. It has brought a bit of joy to our lives.”
“For Maddie*, even though she couldn’t be there, she felt like Angel Tree was representing her. She was so happy to know the girls would be getting gifts, that they were being loved on her behalf while she is missing from their lives. It’s made a big difference to her. She’s already said that she’s going to put their names down again this year.”
“For me, I want the girls to feel like their parents are part of their lives, even when they can’t be together. My parents have played a big part in my life, and I’m hoping – for the girls’ sake – that they can have that sooner or later, since they didn’t have it while they were growing up. Maddie* is always writing letters to them, and we’ve organised a video call between them for next week. Angel Tree really helps because it’s one of those connections.”
“In the school holidays, the girls and I also went to a Camp for Kids day camp that Prison Fellowship put on, and the girls got to play with other children in the same situation. The kids loved it, so it was nice.”
“It was a day for me as well, not just the girls. It was wonderful to be with people who are going through the same thing. You hear their story, and they hear yours, and you can support each other. I appreciate those kinds of days. You don’t feel like you’re on your own.”
“My family has also been a big support. I have beautiful brothers and sisters and another daughter who has helped as well. I’ve had good support from our church and from friends. I’m telling you, going through something like this, it’s important to have a good support unit, so I’m very fortunate. But I know there are some people where programs like Angel Tree and Camp for Kids are the only support they have. Some people have no one else. So the support of Prison Fellowship makes a huge difference. They are beautiful programs. They’re worthwhile, if anybody can support them. For us, they have been really great.”
“People often tell me, ‘We don’t know how you do it.’ And I think, if I didn’t have God, I don’t think I could have done it. God helps me through. My faith has been my backbone – it’s the only thing that has helped me survive. My faith is everything. My strength has come from the belief that God will turn bad things around for good. I always believe that in all of the bad things, God will somehow find good – in every situation.”
“Angel Tree is a demonstration of the love of God working in people. It’s unbelievable how people can be so kind. These are people with faith, people who believe in God, who are willing to do something like this for families like mine. And we are so grateful. Our family is so blessed to have had people be so kind and generous to us. I want to say a big thank you. Thank you for being there for us. Thank you for supporting the girls, their parents, and other families. You are so appreciated, and you have made a difference.”
*Names and identifying details have been changed and representational images have been used for privacy.
AS WE BEGIN TO GATHER ANGEL TREE GIFTS for families like Catherine’s* this Christmas, please pray that every gift would reveal God’s heart to inmates and their families. Please also pray for generosity so that no child will have to go without! To receive regular prayer updates, sign up here.
